Short Burst

Well we are having a short bust of summer sunshine! 

I love it, yesterday I spent the day in the sun at the Olympic Park, today I'm just sitting in the sun while doing my washing and other small bits and bobs and tomorrow.. well im back at work but will be seeing LADY GAGA for the second time AND will be taking my bestie, Sophie who has NEVER in her nearly 20 years of life hasn't been to a gig. So I'm popping her concert cherry! 

So yesterday we (mum, sister, niece, nephew, brother in law and mums friend) went to watch Athletics at the Paralympics, It was great to be in the stadium and be watching, rather than performing. Seeing something from the seats, the different angle. I loved it, I took so many photos and recorded some races, but let me tell you the triple jump was the best thing to watch.. the athletes were blind and I thinks it's crazily amazing that these people can run, RUN and hop skip jump into some sand, I can barely walk a few feet with my eyes closed, it was great fun to watch! Li Duan, this Chinaman with a great sense of humour! He would rip off his trackies before running, such love and laughs that man got. Walking around the park and again, just being part of it was so lovely. Danny said to Charlotte "Remember, this may be the last time the Olympics are here for the rest of your life" She's 8 years old. You may think that may not be the case, but do remember we are the first country to have it 3 times. It will be a very long time before it comes back. We may bid again, but we've had our magnificent moment so the IOC will always bare that in mind.

I can'r wait to see Lady Gaga tomorrow with Sophie, She puts on such a show, If you've never been I really suggest that you do because not only is her music amazing her shows aren't typical routines to songs and the occasional special version or whatever, she goes all out and it's almost like you're at a film set. Es muy impresionante.

Im Back, I Never Left

Now, I know I said I was moving my blogs over to Tumblr, but then it dawned on me. Why fix something that is not broken?

So here we are!

Yesterday, last night.. I met up with someone who at the time I would consider someone I used to be friends with. It had been a year since we last spoke properly. It's been a long time and since then we've both evolved and I thought he had evolved further away and didn't care anymore.

Little to my knowledge that he really missed me and didn't want this situation to go on much longer than I did. So after 2 hours of talking we finally hugged it out and decided to put it behind us and try to get back to where we were. I have to say it's a huge relief knowing there is much less negativity in my life now. It's good to have you back, and to solidify this we are, along with the rest of our class getting drunky drunky tonight.

At work it's the first day of our Autumn campaign, and I would say it's our biggest yet. The colours are so inviting and warm, the new packaging makes you WANT to buy it so much MORE and the new drinks, i'm sure they'll all be a hit! Im at a good place with work, I feel passionate about what I do and love to educate people about it. We've even launched Tassimo pods and gave our retail coffee a face lift. 

The Olympics? Well the best thing i've ever done without a question. Performing in front of thousands, watched by billions? Gave me goosebumps! The best stage i'll ever perform on! The atmosphere? The whole thing was the best place in the world for you to be, there wasn't a care in the world, the purple army made the games & I am so so proud to have been a part of that. Words do struggle to convey the true emotion of how I feel. It's even made me consider getting a tattoo! Something I would not have even considered before hand. The Nay-Sayers? They can't be human if they couldn't embrace the overwhelming positive energy circulating London and the UK, or want to be a part of something so happy, something which we can all come together in and just have fun. So it was amazing yeah?! Of course It was, my pins, notebook full of message from fellow cast members, my Games Maker uniform, pictures, soundtrack to the ceremony which still gives me goosebumps and reinstates my exact feelings of that night. 27.7.12 <3 

We Have A New Home

Ladies and gentlemen, it has been a pleasure posting to you using blogger. 


In keeping with the times I have now decided to move all my blog posts to tumblr!


It is much more user friendly and easier on the eye! Annoyingly because the two are competitors I don't think I am able to transfer my current entries over to tumblr, which is very annoying considering I've only just reached 100 entries! 


I will keep this account until I can find a way to save all my current entries, from this day forward I will be posting to the new site. 


http://www.tumblr.com/blog/itsliamjay 


You can now find me at the above web address.


It's been lovely posting to everyone on here I will continue.. I'm just modernising


love to all! 

Re-Start

Dear me, it's been far too long since I wrote, I've been so swamped with Games Maker and recovering from my high of performing on Friday; still hasn't worn off.  I will talk about Friday later, let's start with Games Maker for now, I've finished my second day yesterday and the two have been very different. Saturday I was at the Stratford Gate, the busiest one doing soft ticket checks making sure people were coming to the right place on the right day. You know, people think that because they have a ticket for gymnastics at the O2, that it means they can come to the park and wonder around. NO, it does not mean that. It's like someone having a ticket for sailing in Weymouth thinking that although the venue is not in the park (let alone London) that they can come and have a butchers. You are wrong people, wrong. Fair enough of you didn't know that the venue wasnt in the park, easy mistake, but what londonder doesn't know that the Excel is is not in the park? Silly sausages. 


Saturday was better, I felt very helpful and useful, but yesterday? Yesterday was not so good, it's was just filled with people really standing by their misjudgement and Ill-thought, one guy was upset because of the whole empty seat thing, yeah it sucks, but don't tell me they could have had people sitting behind the tree in the opening ceremony.. NO, wrong again people! You wouldn't see a thing, you might as well put your hands Infront of your face, hush now silly American man. Today was a bit annoying with all the people moaning about tickets. I was also at the Greenway gate, so quiet, lots of not doing much. But I am enjoying it! 

It's Around The Corner

It's been a rollercoster these last couple of days! I had a dress run yesterday, well a tech run actually and it really made it all so real again! Getting into costume, with hair and make up! The atmosphere is indescribable! Everyone is getting so excited, in a few days we will be on that stage with 80,000 watching us with the added billions watching at home. Can It get bigger than this!? I thought to myself when I did Billy Elliot at the Victoria Palace that, this would be the biggest thing in my life, that nothing else could come close to that incredible experience. Then, the Olympics rock up and takes the prime spot as the best thing I've done in my life. So far of course. What could possible top this though? Performing at the Opening Ceremony? Really, what could? I suppose international stardom and success, but that's a long way to go. I was skyping Emma and Hannah tonight, they are seriously nearly as excited as I am! Emma is gutted she is in Greece, I would be too girl! They said this is something that you could always talk about, right into when I'm an old and shrivelling man, I could still brag about it. I will, that's for sure! Ask me, and I will share every detail I have. We will need to sit down. I am loving my costume, especially my wig, I've been told its what my hair would look like if I were to grow it so long, and I very much think that's true! The ceremony itself is very British, when you watch it you will know it's not another Beijing, Danny knew something like that could never be repeated, so the show won't be like that, every aspect of it will have meaning, not just people moving in unison with no story. People who watch in the stadium will see the show of their lives, mum and her friends are very lucky to be seeing a dress run two days before, the last one before the show, there may still be some slight pauses, but I think it will go very smoothly, they will essentially see the ceremony, for FREE!! See, who says being a performer has no perks? So yeah, watch the ceremony and really embrace it for what it is, DO NOT compare it to Beijing simply because they are two different types of ceremonies. The slate has been wiped clean. I also went on a date Stan. He's such a lovely man, well from what today gave me anyway! He's from Bulagria, lived in Cyprus and now is in the UK. Great body, talks a lot, and that was ok because what he was saying was interesting, what I said felt a bit small talkish, but it went well. We sat on the grass listening to music and just enjoying the sunny day. Very nice, will see him again tomorrow, I don't know what it will turn into, but I'd live to have him as a friend at least. Well my birthday is also soon, what would I like? I've no idea!! But when I come home, I'm going straight to a cousins wedding reception, so I will be swarmed by my family asking me all sorts, there will be so much to tell! It will be a great night! Well this is me for the night, I smell a BBQ, I really want one!! I shall be typing to you soon, tomorrow is a dress run in front of a audience, im going to fall over with hype.

Cross the Fingers

So I am back in London and the day wasn't as long as it was meant to be. Tonsillitis still rages on inside me, what a time for me to feel unwell?! I can't believe it! I'm trying to kick this pig I really am, go away for goodness sake!! Our green room is in Eton Manor, the other side of the park, half hour to the other side! So much walking its unbelievable. I'm also having the same trouble I always have when I perform away from home: eating. I lost 2lbs in then initial days I was here, now it doesn't sound like much in that space of time, but when your BMI is right on the Underweight/ Ok line, I can't afford to loose any at all. Also because I am skinny I notice when I loose weight, so alarm bells rang. I've eaten a good amount today, just need to keep it up and tons of water. So I'm feeling 6/10, which is borderline lunatic all things considering. Not good no sireey. Night bloggies.

It's Not A U-Turn

Well bloggies, It’s becomes too much for me today, I am sitting on a train heading for Wivelsfield.

No, Im not throwing in the towel completely, I’m just going home for two nights to really calm and chill. I woke up this morning with my throat feeling the worst it’s felt in a very long time, looked in the mirror to discover that I have indeed; tonsillitis. If you’ve ever had tonsillitis, you know how painful it is when you swallow and how much you don’t feel like eating, which for me at the moment is one of the worst things that can happen considering why I’m in London.

I’ve been so tired and hungry today, this wasn’t helped by the fact that I literally walked around.. what.. 5 miles in total today. I took myself to Westfield, and asked the lady at Boots (who had an eye thing where they must be looking at you, but to you they are looking right past you, it’s strange) where the nearest walk in was. It was a 15 minute walk, and so I walked there, read a few pages of my play and in the end, got some penicillin. After that, I walked around for at least 2 hours trying to find a Locksmith so I can have my own set of keys for where I am staying. People.. it was like trying to find a dolphin in the Gobi desert! It wasn’t happening! Every where that my phone said a locksmiths was, there wasn’t. I went to three different places and they turned out to be a phone shop, a letting agents and a persons house. One was not amused. In-between my amazingly eventful day, my new shoes, which, I have one worn once before where essentially corroding my feet away. I’m surprised when I took them off they where still there. Horrendously horrific this ordeal was.

Let me tell you this as well, the air in London was so odd today.. no really, I’m not talking metaphorically here, it’s cloudy but so fecking humid and warm it’s unreal, the bottom half of me was aching from the walking and the top was being drenched in perspiration. Total body meltdown. 

In all of this, I’ve been here for what.. 5 days now, and it’s the first not good day i’ve had. I wouldn’t say its enough to call it a bad day, but it’s certainly been highly annoying. I’ve never walked so much in my nearly 19 years on this Earth, It’s all short distances as one journey, but all together I swear i’ve walked a half marathon.  I really miss driving actually, and time. It’s all so rushy. I am rushy, but I fucking hate dawdlers. DAWDLERS, PRAMMY MUMMIES, U-TURNERS, IM TRYING TO TAKE A MUTHAFUCKING PICTURE-ERS & ROGUE CHILDREN. Normally It doesn’t even enter my mind, but today, my not good day, I was ready to lose it.

It’s all the moving houses, carrying heavy stuff, walking for hours, standing, rehearsing, unable to eat properly.. It’s all caught up with me. I couldn’t stay in London because I feel like I should always be doing something, very odd so I thought.. Now is my last chance to be home before, well my Birthday actually. No clue what I want to do. I’ve been so piss poor in organising that (even though it’s my 19) that I’ve no idea what i’ll be doing. I’ll be ok for Thursday’s 12:30 - 10 rehearsal, it’ll be tough but after all.. Well it goes without saying. I am still excited beyond belief, but I have definitely become blasé about being in the Stadium. Once we start running the whole thing with more and more props, cues, effects and so on it’ll reignite the scale of what I’m doing.

Oh, and before I forget, I don’t know how I didn’t mention this earlier, it’s rather lol.. But when I was walking around for a bloody locksmith, there was a “lovely” street preacher who was shouting, literally shouting “HE DECIDES WHAT HE WANTS TO DO!” “HE’S COMING ONCE AGAIN!” “YOU NEED TO LIVE BY HIM, AND LOVE HIM” “HE IS ALMIIIIIIIIIIGHTYYYYYY.”

Blah. Fucking. Blah. So, because I wasn’t my perkiest, and was slightly resentful at this point, I thought “Why does she think it’s ok for her to shove this down everyones earholes?!” I had it out with the betch. I said “Do you think we all want to listen to your warped views and crazy ramblings?” I should have kept quiet. It was ugly my hunnies, we argued, publicly, for a good 7 minutes or so before I decided.. if I didn’t leave then, she would very much try and crucify me then and there. She said I was condemned to hell and that I will, and I quote “burn and have my sinful vultures pick at my body” and I said she was condemned to a life without wanting to understand more and basing her life decisions on a book which she clearly takes very literally. Me loving the men also made her rather angry, thats when I left. It wasn’t the smartest thing to do, but there were people on my side believe it or not, who said ‘good on you’ etc. I was only saying what some were thinking. Now, you don’t see me in the streets pulling that kind of crap do you? Of course it’s ok for her to ‘preach’ but for me to speak my mind? Goodness no, how could I possibly. I’m sick and tired of people defending their beliefs, what about my belief that equal marriage is acceptable? What about my belief that liking someone who’s the same gender as you is alright? 

I just need some good food, medication and rest.

Send me love and well wishes please =] 

Game Time

I do apologise for this crappy font, well for me it's in awful TimesNR which I dislike, as much dislike I have for rogue pigeons. I'll change it when I can to a font which is easier on the eye. Today marks official Games Time bloggies, they have begun behind the scenes, special lanes, more passes to be shown and all that jazz. So we are nearly there my lovers. I've moved in with my brother and brother in law, so I've now more permemant arrangements, it's a stones throw away from the park, which will be a huge blessing in a few days. Rehearsal was fab as always, people sitting in there will need to bring some kitchen roll because they will pee themselves due to how awesome it will be. Open minds and believing we can do it people. I am so tired, but I want to do a blog tonight, it's short and sweet but may add to it tomorrow. Till then!!

Number 3

Today has been a long day, I got to the stadium at around 9 and finished at half 3.

There was lots of standing today but we did learn our proper entrance and exit, there were a few more props used and things being done properly and that was nice to see things come together even further. When we did our run, there were people from the groups after us watching, so we had a very mini audience, but they frickin loved it!!! Standing ovation and everything, it was humbling to hear that support from other groups, and it must have been nice for them to see another group and take it all in. 

A few of us stayed behind after to watch what they were doing and they are the lovelies who are very patient because they are the very last people on! (Bar athletes of course) We saw a run of the athletes parade, flags and all and that was nice, however those poor people don't do a lot, bless them.

Tomorrow I am moving in with my brother and brother-in-law who live in Stratford, like, 5 minutes walk to the Park, it's crazy. So I finally have a more permanent roof over my head, I was beginning to stress, but all is ok now :) Also, when I have my beautiful 06:30 starts (Just like work.. I can never escape..) it means I don't have to get the tube and I don't know when they start, surely before then? I don't know and now I don't have to worry about it, huzzah indeed. I could literally wake up at quarter past and still be there in time, I won't however, that would mean I'd be very under groomed and wouldn't feel fresh at all, I DONT WANT THAT THANK YOU VERY MUCH. :)

Yes, that's lovely. Now, I couldn't help myself but make a small purchase today.. a jewellery purchase.. in Links of London.. now, before you think i've spent half a house price in there and that i'll now have to sell my body to carry on living,

("I bet he's spent half a house on that and will have to sell his body to carry on living!")

It's the lovely bracelet you see before you very eyes.. i've been eyeing one up for a while, saw another cast member wear one and decided to go for it, something special to add to my memories, it's wearable even after the games, so you won't look at me and think golly gosh you walking billboard. It's double adjustable so it doesn't come loose, a problem I always find with these kind of bracelets, It comes in other colours but I of course chose the most colourful and quite frankly the better of choices, there were other very pretty choices, but then I would have had to sell myself in order to carry on. It's a completely justifiable buy. 

I've had such a sore throat for ages now, it must be over a week at least, I really need to get myself some soothers or something because this can not go on any longer, I don't want a sore throat when I'm on stage darhhhling!! 

Well, this is me for the day, until next time!

Change of Plan

Bloggies, my rehearsal today was cancelled, I knew this yesterday when I posted 'Here It Starts' but didn't pop it in.


So when I woke up, what was I to do with myself? My day? I was in a quandary and it had to be resolved! It then hit me that I'm in the capital of the UK.. there's can't be nothing to do. So i had a touristy day by taking myself of to the Science Museum, somewhere I hadn't been since I was 11/12 and I loved it more today then I did back then, It was so lively and just an exciting place to be, I'm a secret science appreciator, It's something I've always been very good at so I knew I wouldn't be disappointed with my choice. 

As you walk in, your attention is drawn right to a working steam engine, a great image of the country who kicked off the Industrial Revolution. I then wondered into the space section and there was this amazing 3D globe projection which showed ocean currents, cloud movement, night time lights, glowing yellow blips which represented airplanes and chlorophyll levels during season changes. It was enchanting to watch, at first I thought it was hovering (in which I would have been completely amazed) then I saw It was suspended from the ceiling while people were gazing at this globe. Fascinating.

I wandered for a bit and found myself in the Who Am I? Gallery. You're able to look at little interesting things from a human brain to the bones of a guy many people may be decedent from, how we recognise faces to an IVF machine. Intriguing it is! It's filled with real stories and interactive hubs for people to explore either their personality, memory etc. There's also a place where you have your say on some controversial topics such as cosmetic surgery, abortion, all sorts, I gave my two pennies...

I then stumbled (I'm using so many different words for 'went to' you see, spicing it up a bit) across what's called the 'Listening Post' Ever wondered what the internet sounds like? Just sit in this dark room and take in what you see and hear. I haven't come across something so mesmerising in a long time, before I knew it, i'd been sitting in awe for about 1 hour 20 minutes. The tiny displays produce words taken from chatrooms/forums etc live, what you consume is what is being said right at the moment, so current affairs are present, although I didn't notice any. Along with random words and sentences, clicks and beeps are heard, which to me represented the noises of voicemail beeps and mouse clicking which earthed you slightly. The piece contains 7 different sections, one entirely visual, another a slightly poetically sang harmony from computer voices accompanying random words, a 'common first words postings' section (I am..) (I like..) (I love..,) and a few others.. it's completely uncensored so there were a few words/sentences which made some giggle and that's ok because chatrooms aren't censored and if the exhibition did then it would have really taken away from the whole purpose of the piece. I very much recommend you experience this installation! But I'll pop in a video to give you the tiniest taste of it! 

My galavanting continued for lunchy, I popped into Starbucks and much to my muthafucking disgust, waited 20 minutes for one drink and a butte. I. Kicked. Up. A. Storm. Now I work in coffee so I know how mental it gets and how people who think if you mix whole and skimmed milk it gives you semi-skimmed (IT DOES NOT) but these fucktards were fooling around, making drinks for their co-workers and being more disorganised than rampant children high on cola. So avoid the South Kensington store unless you want to see the next ice age before you get your order. Stupid fucking green mermaid.


I came home and here we are. You reading after me typing, I'm currently wondering what to have for dinner.. mother if you want I'll FaceTime (ask Luke or Ty for assistance as Skype won't work for me at the mo) you from 9 tonight or on Tuesday, you decide :)


Well that's it for today, write tomorrow! 

Now It Starts

Hey bloggies, well I am currently on the tube on my way to Stratford, after making a slight boob by leaving without my bib and a change of clothes, meaning I had to make a U turn when I realised id be buggered with out them, at Bond Street. So day 1 has gone very well so far! :) I wonder what rehearsal will bring today, I think all performers are gunna be there, which is many thousands. Eek! Also, thanks to Mum who helped me get ready this morning, a huge help you were madre! I will keep you up to speed about your ceremony rehearsal tickets, you will not see anything like this ever again in person.. I promise!  So here it goes.. This will be my biggest journey so far, once I dance in front of tens of thousands and watched by millions I will be helping people with security, making sure everyone goes through as quick as possible. I will also let you know I'd some tries to bring a budgie, BBQ or other random object which they can't.. God I hope someone tries that, can you imagine dealing with the person who thinks its ok to have a firework or something on them. Oh people. Well I'm at Stratford now, keep reading my bloggies, everyday will be more interesting!! Ta-ra! 

Happy 100

Happy 100th post bloggies!!


It's not that many considering i've been doing this a year but hey, it's great to be here.


Just to update you on my Olympic journey, I am now rehearsing in the stadium! ITS AMAZING! Words couldn't describe how I was feeling when I sat down and then thought "I'm actually going to be performing here. Wow." So it's one great big emotion of amazingness, Mummy is so proud which is great, her support is invaluable during all this, so I said thank you by giving her my 2 dress rehearsal tickets so she can actually she the show in real life. One experience which I will talk about until my last breath. I've met great people who I most definitely want to stay in touch with, my Louise's who work in TV, Valeria who is a  performer who does a lot, Josie who Is such a sweetheart, and a couple of guys who are a laugh. 


I had to cancel the show I was working on due to cast issues, it's a shame but I've learnt a lot from doing it, so It's certainly not all bad, the worst thing for me is that no one will see it, it had such potential and from what I heard people were really excited about it. They say some shows are cursed from the word go, I think this was one of them. People at work have asked about it today.. they think I should find a new cast, but I said I can't be flogging a dead pig. Or however the saying goes. Time to move on.


I've no idea still what I am doing from September when I finish with the Olympics :S I'll apply to Central again, I'm pretty dead set on going there, but I know I should look around a bit more just so I am certain.. but you get this feeling when you walk into a place and you just feel like you should be there.. I had that with college and had it with Central.. coincidentally they are both referred to as 'Central'


Just nibbling on some Maltesers.. once you start you can't.. part?


Before I go, I just want to say a big thank you to those who follow my blog.. I do get the statistics and it does tell me how many reads I've had and other such minor interesting things.


Write soon!

Heat

Finally, we've some amazing weather! It's perfect actually, not too hot, humid or unbearable.


I've done so many opens this week, 6:30-3:00 Monday-Friday then again on Monday and Tuesday next week. It's ok, but very exhausting and i fee like doing NOTHING afterwards. Meh


Also, i've some really overdue Blockbuster films that i NEED to take back, i've been very naughty, i rented them from there because it's cheaper than iTunes, but it's cost me more actually and i'm ending up returning two films one of which i haven't watched at all and only about half an hour of the other. Waste. Of. Money.


In the meantime, we do have some jobs going at work, so if you need some dollah and want to do something productive and also save me from working 6 day weeks for the next month or so, do drop in your CV. That would be great. Ta.


I'm warm in my room, i may have to buy some ice cream when i return these films.


I'm also seeing my Emma on Friday :) yays! As i've another 2012 rehearsal, it starts at 9 in the morning this time!! Ergh. Another early. Although i finish at 2pm, so i may have a wonder around, maybe shop and spend the day there :) Looking forward to that i am. I am indeed. 


You know what i'm also looking forward to? A NIGHT OUT. My goodness, i haven't had one of these in long time, and i'm long overdue my shot of Brighton club carnage. 


Also, it's mega awkward.. because.. well, there are these two guys who come into work.. we believe they're brothers. Anyway, the important thing is that they are both good looking, i like the one Mel doesn't and I like the one Mel doesn't.. now, the one i like came in and was wearing a vest. It. Revealed. Enough. Phew, it was hard to not look because let me tell you this. He had a good body. A very good body. It made the day a little more bearable.. OH IM SO NAUGHTY.

Looking Back

"When I look back on my life, it's not that I don't want to see things exactly as they happened, it's just that i prefer to remember them in an artistic way"

Sorry, that had to be said. Lady Gaga <3

So, I've noticed that two of my very special and close friends have typed some blogs, so now it's my turn. Again, I'm not going to dive into detail, and fill you in on everything that's happened since i last wrote.

I did my team leader (Barista Maestro) course on Friday, and i learned so much more about my job, the coffee side of it it and the team leader side. It's so interesting.. who know coffee could be so interesting? I shan't bore you, but Costa puts in so much more effort into it's blend than Nero & Starbucks put together. Nero don't even use Fairtrade or Rainforest Alliance and Starbucks is all about quick-fast coffee. Costa is handcrafted coffee that gives back to our growers.. listen to me, I'm babbling, i shan't bore you..

Now, my play has been postponed, if you didn't know, I'm directing i play and no.. i didn't write it. It was meant to be performed on May 10th & 11th but ultimately my cast wasn't ready. It's rather frustrating, annoying, upsetting.. but most of all disappointing. I've put so much time and energy into this, but it's a lesson learned to myself and hopefully them. If any of you read this, i hope you have fully realised what you did, and now you're going to prove yourself as a performer by delivering a great piece, because it can be.. the buck stops with you. I'm now filling in for one of the characters, i'm looking forward to acting again and hopefully we can finally get this bloody show in the road!

I went and saw the Shakespeare performances tonight, King Lear & Titus. They were great and once again made me realise it was a year ago since we did ours, time flies and it does and also doesn't feel that long ago. Strange. If only life could be like those two years forever..

My best friend is off to CSSD this September, leaving me to live in London to live her dream. It's unbelievable, the girl i met at the start wouldn't have thought she ever had a chance, but now look at her, 3 years on and she's a whole new person who's living their dream. Im very proud. I'll miss her like mental. It's not that i feel lonely or isolated, but so far from the past. I want to get into CSSD for 2013 more than anything, i'm going to push myself more than ever to make sure i give them all i can, get in and move away. I'm going slowly but surely crazy living in Burgess Hill, like Hannah with East Grinstead.. we want bigger things, to live in a bigger place. I don't think she knows what she wants to do with herself yet.. Knowing that I'm going to live in Mid-Sussex until at least September 2013 is bad enough.  

God i wish that i could just up and go you know? Quit my job, take whatever money i can and just go.. Europe, Australia, New York where ever! My life lacks adventure and.. well.. life. I should really finish my passport application, at least when i get that, it's my ticket outta here. Scary how this resonates with "It's A Wonderful Life" George Bailey and I have something in common.. maybe that's why I was picked to play him.. Strange.

My bloglings, I'm here and will be for however long. What i hate is meeting amazing people, friends that i really want to stay in touch with but i fear life will take the away. I'll look at a photo album and say "I wonder what happened to him, we were so close" or "God i miss her so much, i don't even know where she lives now" Thank god for Facebook.

Gosh, i've written so much, if only essays and books were this easy to write eh?

Ta Ta.

I Didn't Know

Here I am writing a blog post on my iPhone, I didn't even know there was an app for this!!


I'm not even writing it actually, I'm speaking to my phone, Siri is an amazing personal assistant, with more emphasis on the assistant part of course.


I am currently at work feeling like absolute crap, I want to go home but I don't think they will let me due to having so little staff in the store these days.


I cannot wait for my Olympic rehearsals to begin, they can't come soon enough! I'll be living in London for the summer with my Emma and also having the time of my life!! Bring it on!!


I have just consumed so much juice in an effort to make myself feel better, however I think the overload of vitamin C might turn me into a walking nutrition pill.


I must be off back to work I go.

Tough

So lately I've been feeling pretty crap over the past two, three weeks, and it's horrible.


I've been in this moody state in which the main reason is because I'm currently unhappy with the way things are at the moment. Work being the main thing.


Now y'all can shut up with your 'welcome to my worlds,' 'like sucks' and whatnots. THIS IS THE WORST THING YOU COULD SAY to anyone who feels like this. Everyone's 'world' is different and various situations affect people in an array of ways. One person may be able to work 45 hours a week where they are on the feel all their working day, I for one can't do that. 'Man upland other crap, bitch please hold it in.


It's all about finding what does it for you.


'I've never met a person where they're happy in their job'' Well that may be your case, but as a quote to which i love:

"Find a job you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life"

This quote is amazing. This is how i feel about being a performer. Acting is what i was put on this earth to do, and there's no way that when I'm on my death bed i'll mutter 'i wish i had lived my life the way i wanted too'  Many people do settle for second best, or the easy option and let their dreams stay dreams. A nurse who worked in a ward in which people were soon to die, said that was one of the most common the soon departed said. So i hope you understand that i will make my dream be a reality.. why shouldn't i?

I've had to make some tough decisions, but i need to do them to get what i want in order to be who I want to become and to ultimately.. be happy.

Lunch with the Gypsy

So today i was approached by my first gypsy lady. I think i got off quite well.


For one, she didn't curse me, or spray me with anything, which is what i hear they do? 


So I'm walking out of Forfars (i'd just grab the unhealthiest lunch) stupidly with wallet in hand, and they home in on this kind of thing, if they see a purse in your hand they'll get ya. So she thrusts this plastic purple and white flower in to my hand, well when i say thrust, she very forwardly directed it to my hand and i subconsciously grabbed it. I don't know why, maybe because it was a flower, but she could have shoved anything in my direction and i would have nearly grabbed it, so from then on i was hooked.


"This will be a lucky year for you it will, you have a good future ahead, you believe in gypsies, you'll set up your own business, you'll find someone in love, and that i can promise you"


"Oh really? That's rather interesting do tell me more"


"Spare me some money and i'll read your palm, yeah you'll be in love this year,"


"Oh ok"

"you'll find a lucky lady, she'll be the one for you."


"A lady? i don't think it will be a lady thats for sure"


"A man. I didn't want to say incase i embarrassed you."


"Will he find me or will i find him?


"Darling, you've been hurt before haven't you, you won't let it happen again though. I know that."


"Damn right i won't. Aren't you gonna read my palm?"


" I've seen you already, can you spare a fiver?"


"Now that i really haven't got! Im hungry and on break so bye, thanks"


"It'll take 5 minutes"


"BYE!"


Now, i was £2.50 down, a fake flower and some uplifting words up. What she said was nice, i know what she said was rather generic and that's what their technique is, but the business thing was a little on the mark with me setting up my theatre company, all be it last year, but maybe she mean't that ill take it further... I didn't read too much into what she said, i didn't care about giving her a couple of quid because it was humouring me. 


Anyone could take to the street with a bunch of fake flowers from Wilkos and give them out while telling all these tales. I did wonder though, she was kinda right, but maybe the generics of it applied to me more so. I wouldn't say I've been hurt terribly, but the only serious-ish boyfriend i've had (my first one too) all of a sudden decided not to bother with me and things slowly turned into shit because we never saw each other. I was hurt in the scenes that i thought it would last longer than a month, but i broke up with him and was the adult about it.


Wow, rather deep blog here. I thought i would let you know about my first gypsy encounter.

Just Read

Mah honeys i've been working a lot. A lot a lot. This is ok, but it's not something to jump up and down about either. I like where i work and have done since i started, but i feel like I'm nearing the end of my rope. This month will be an odd month to which i can't describe why, maybe because it will be full of adjustments.. 


Anyway this one day, after clearing up a table and i looked at the clock on the wall and thought to myself;

"What if i don't know how to direct this play?"

Harrowing thought i know, but it hit me. I've been at work here for 1 year 3 months, it's taken up lots of time, time which i'd rather be spending being creative, but you can't have it both ways, simply, i need money. Im not unhappy, I'm very content at the moment, and i have a bloody good year ahead of me and when ever i do feel crap, i remind myself how memorable this year will be and how much fun i'll have. If you're reading this and wanting to audition for my play, don't let this put you of because i know now and have always known since last summer that i will make this play mine and put my mark on it and have a blast during the whole process. It'll be awesome.

Another note, there are so many shows i want to go and see. I didn't get tickets to any for Christmas, sucky, so will book a couple and take someone with me and have a day of it. So wanna see War Horse, Woman in Black and One Man Two Guvnors.

Toodaloo for now dear readers.

2012

So here we are. 2012. It's here, and i like it! 2012, doesn't it just have a ring to it? 2011.. it doesn't sound nor look as appealing, i like the number two, so to have it twice is great, doubly great in fact.


Words of the type-able or spoken variety can not tell you enough how excited i am for this year, you may have heard this already saying they'll loose weight or cut down on that cake, well ladies and gents my reason for my liking of this year is A) more excitable for both parties and, B) will actually happen. Harsh i know, but haters gon' hate.


I am going to be a London 2012 Gamesmaker, which means for me i'll be welcoming people to what ever venue I'm assigned to and chat to them and prepare them for security. Essentially, you will see my cheery face before those fine buff athletes. *cough* Tom Daley *cough* huh what sorry?...


Many people i speak to think we're going to balls up the games one way or another, to all the nay sayers out there.. why be so cynical? It's a very British way to think, the worst in things and this is very annoying, why can't it go amazingly well? Who cares if our Opening Ceremony isn't as good as Beijing's? Who's to say we won't win many golds? American children grow up thinking they could be the next president, there's a lot of hope and positive thinking over there, but here, if you were to tell some you're to be the next Adele, PM or whatever next big thing, you're laughed at and discouraged meaning you settle and don't aspire, which is very sad indeed. I've every faith in the UK putting on a fab Olympics, i like the look of the stadium, did you know the 'Birds Nest' stadium in Beijing costs £4.5 million a year to maintain? Also because they didn't think about it's use afterwards, paint is already peeling and there's no real reason for it to be there anymore. So the fact we've though about after use and being eco and sensible, is a great thing.