Well bloggies, It’s becomes too much for me today, I am sitting on a train heading for Wivelsfield.
No, Im not throwing in the towel completely, I’m just going home for two nights to really calm and chill. I woke up this morning with my throat feeling the worst it’s felt in a very long time, looked in the mirror to discover that I have indeed; tonsillitis. If you’ve ever had tonsillitis, you know how painful it is when you swallow and how much you don’t feel like eating, which for me at the moment is one of the worst things that can happen considering why I’m in London.
I’ve been so tired and hungry today, this wasn’t helped by the fact that I literally walked around.. what.. 5 miles in total today. I took myself to Westfield, and asked the lady at Boots (who had an eye thing where they must be looking at you, but to you they are looking right past you, it’s strange) where the nearest walk in was. It was a 15 minute walk, and so I walked there, read a few pages of my play and in the end, got some penicillin. After that, I walked around for at least 2 hours trying to find a Locksmith so I can have my own set of keys for where I am staying. People.. it was like trying to find a dolphin in the Gobi desert! It wasn’t happening! Every where that my phone said a locksmiths was, there wasn’t. I went to three different places and they turned out to be a phone shop, a letting agents and a persons house. One was not amused. In-between my amazingly eventful day, my new shoes, which, I have one worn once before where essentially corroding my feet away. I’m surprised when I took them off they where still there. Horrendously horrific this ordeal was.
Let me tell you this as well, the air in London was so odd today.. no really, I’m not talking metaphorically here, it’s cloudy but so fecking humid and warm it’s unreal, the bottom half of me was aching from the walking and the top was being drenched in perspiration. Total body meltdown.
In all of this, I’ve been here for what.. 5 days now, and it’s the first not good day i’ve had. I wouldn’t say its enough to call it a bad day, but it’s certainly been highly annoying. I’ve never walked so much in my nearly 19 years on this Earth, It’s all short distances as one journey, but all together I swear i’ve walked a half marathon. I really miss driving actually, and time. It’s all so rushy. I am rushy, but I fucking hate dawdlers. DAWDLERS, PRAMMY MUMMIES, U-TURNERS, IM TRYING TO TAKE A MUTHAFUCKING PICTURE-ERS & ROGUE CHILDREN. Normally It doesn’t even enter my mind, but today, my not good day, I was ready to lose it.
It’s all the moving houses, carrying heavy stuff, walking for hours, standing, rehearsing, unable to eat properly.. It’s all caught up with me. I couldn’t stay in London because I feel like I should always be doing something, very odd so I thought.. Now is my last chance to be home before, well my Birthday actually. No clue what I want to do. I’ve been so piss poor in organising that (even though it’s my 19) that I’ve no idea what i’ll be doing. I’ll be ok for Thursday’s 12:30 - 10 rehearsal, it’ll be tough but after all.. Well it goes without saying. I am still excited beyond belief, but I have definitely become blasé about being in the Stadium. Once we start running the whole thing with more and more props, cues, effects and so on it’ll reignite the scale of what I’m doing.
Oh, and before I forget, I don’t know how I didn’t mention this earlier, it’s rather lol.. But when I was walking around for a bloody locksmith, there was a “lovely” street preacher who was shouting, literally shouting “HE DECIDES WHAT HE WANTS TO DO!” “HE’S COMING ONCE AGAIN!” “YOU NEED TO LIVE BY HIM, AND LOVE HIM” “HE IS ALMIIIIIIIIIIGHTYYYYYY.”
Blah. Fucking. Blah. So, because I wasn’t my perkiest, and was slightly resentful at this point, I thought “Why does she think it’s ok for her to shove this down everyones earholes?!” I had it out with the betch. I said “Do you think we all want to listen to your warped views and crazy ramblings?” I should have kept quiet. It was ugly my hunnies, we argued, publicly, for a good 7 minutes or so before I decided.. if I didn’t leave then, she would very much try and crucify me then and there. She said I was condemned to hell and that I will, and I quote “burn and have my sinful vultures pick at my body” and I said she was condemned to a life without wanting to understand more and basing her life decisions on a book which she clearly takes very literally. Me loving the men also made her rather angry, thats when I left. It wasn’t the smartest thing to do, but there were people on my side believe it or not, who said ‘good on you’ etc. I was only saying what some were thinking. Now, you don’t see me in the streets pulling that kind of crap do you? Of course it’s ok for her to ‘preach’ but for me to speak my mind? Goodness no, how could I possibly. I’m sick and tired of people defending their beliefs, what about my belief that equal marriage is acceptable? What about my belief that liking someone who’s the same gender as you is alright?
I just need some good food, medication and rest.
Send me love and well wishes please =]
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