What To Do

Even now, after the second day of working a lot more hours, im already starting to feel far away from what i want to do. 

I actually nearly... :'[ at work today.

Seems stupid i know, you're preaching to the choir. What i mean is, is that in my gap year i want to be involved in theatre as much as possible, being in it, creating it, helping it, i just want to be involved. Sounds easy enough doesn't it? Not when when no one. No One. I've talked to about it in the plainest form understands or helps me. I am scared that by working so many hours (29 this week, 32 next) that i will have no time to do anything. Why don't you ask if you can get your hours reduced? Well because mum wants me to work more so i have more money. Sounds like there's no problem, but to me i just don't want to work more.

I think in a not good place right now. Just left college, gap year, what the hell am i gunna do. My heads a little all over the place. I think im just adapting to adulthood. At the minute it sucks.

All i know for sure is that I don't want to go through a year not doing a lot, then giving a blank expression followed by an 'ummm, not much really...'  which never sounds good, i'd hate that.

What the f**k do i do? That's if you can help that is.